MBA Experience

This week has such a weird dynamic to it... we have math/excel review classes + accounting and statistics (both regular term classes), and everyone is starting off from a different place. The range of business acumen is huge.

I think there are people in my stats class who could TEACH stats, and then there are others who know how to calculate and average and that's about it (obviously, they want to transition to business and came from another function). Luckily for me, I come from some middle ground. This stuff isn't new to me, I just haven't seen it in a while. I'm sure that's the case for a lot of people though.

I do feel so totally fortunate, however, that I am not one of the people who entered the MBA program and has never seen a financial statement. WOW, accounting is going to suck for those people. We already were introduced to all the statments on day 1.

Today was a big day. The tenants of the building I live in are forming an association to get rid of the shady drug dealers on the block. How awesome is that? And they want to get rid of the homeless guy's 'street sale.' He basically pulls stuff out of the trash and neatly arranges junk on the sidewalk every day. He's also very drunk.

Anyway, I think it's fantastic that the people in my building are organizing and that I also get to be a part of it. I get to meet my neighbors and hear about what the management company has not been doing for the last several years, and I get to help make a difference. I can't wait. I really want this friggin' street to straighten out. Plus, it makes me feel like a New Yorker... member of a Tenant's Association. Doesn't that have a great ring to it? Yaaaaaaa.

Aside from that, I also picked my fantasy football team. I don't have a TV, so I suppose I will just have to go out to a sports bar and check out the games. That's going to be tough ;)

Today was the final (*sniff, sniff*) day of orientation. Again, the faculty never cease to amaze me. We had a case study on ethics, but more importantly, the moral of the story was that when you are faced with an ethical dilemma, the most important part of the dilemma is how you handle it. Just because you could be right morally doesn't mean you will handle the issue in the best way and be successful in resolving it. Excellent point made.

We also had an intro to the business library and experienced more cluster love during lunch. The class is organized into 8 clusters, where mine is (obviously) the best. Really though, our peer advisors told us so. Each cluster is assigned a group of Peer Advisors, 2nd years who are there for support, to keep us on track, and to help sort out our 1st year confusions.

The Peer Advisors also tuned us in to "that guy." That Guy is the guy/girl who waves his hand around class, even when the Professor is not looking for his/her advice, she boasts about "when I was at company XYZ (insert industry leader here), or tries to correct the professor, etc. The know-it-all, basically. So, I think I've identified That Guy in my cluster. Supposedly, the forces of the cluster will put him into place once our classes start rolling. Should be some good people watching in this.

We had a fun 'trading' game. I think it was part ice breaker, part team building, and just a lot of competition. MBA-ers at Columbia are very comptetitive. They thrive on it even.

We also had an overview session on the case method, which was, again, delivered by an awesome faculty member. I really look forward to cases to learn about industries I am not familiar with, and issues I have never encountered. Oh ya, and then I also get to apply some of my New-MBA-Ninja-Like knowhow. How exciting is that?

I received my financial calculator. OK, I am in big trouble because this thing has some 300 pages of material on how to use it and how to work the functions. wah? Really now, is 'torture by calculator' necessary? ... and it looked so cute and unassuming in the package... now I want to give it back. My laptop didn't even come with as many instructions.

Tonight was free billiards with an open bar for the entire class (over 500 of us). Funnily enough, I saw some people's game improve. My game, however, not so much. I still left with a winning record, 4 free drinks, and a few more Cluster adoptees. I love honorary clustermates.

So Day 3 (yesterday) was pretty fun! We had a scavenger hunt with our study groups, which led us to various places of interest around the city to obtain answers to clues each team was given. My study group ROCKS. I love them already and I feel so lucky to have been assigned to such an awesome bunch of folks. I hope that doesn't change after we actually have to start to 'work,' but my impression is that they are all hard-workers who are willing to help each of the teammates. Yay.

There was also a session on Team Dynamics to highlight elements of effective or ineffective teams. Since we are assigned to the same study group for a year, this was definitely helpful. The professor was awesome: he had enthusiasm, expertise, and was creative with the subject matter.

I received my student loan check, and I am leaving right now so I can go deposit my mula into the bank. It feels very strange to be walking around the city with a check for tens of thousands of dollars. I feel 'rich' anyway. At least I can eat and pay my rent. I also need to go buy some clothes... for school, of course.

The other big news of Orientation for the Class of 2007 was that Chuck Prince, CEO of Citigroup, was featured in the Wall Street Journal the day after he spoke to our class where the discussion he participated in was quoted in that article. It appeared on the front page. Pretty cool!

Lame... well the team building games that CBS paid Chelsey Piers to facilitate was horrrible. I mean, I felt bad for them because it was so bad. I had better team building games when I was 5 and didn't know what a team was.

Free beer, however: good. The 3 hours of bowling (with endless pitchers of beer mysteriously appearing on each lane) was friggin cool.... so was the drunk talk with my classmates on the subway, as well as the two underage nurses who still had the biggest bottle of gin I've ever seen...

Anyway, today I only spent 16 hours with my new classmates. I'm working on a record.

I've only been doing Columbia stuff since 8 a.m. today ... or, 14 hours. So I'm done, but there are masses of others headed toward another bar right now. I've already consumed alcohol 3 times today for 3 dfifferent occasions and the 4th time was just not in my cards tonight.

Overall, Orientation is a lot easier than I thought it would be. I thought Orientation was meant to orient us suckas (who haven't been to school in years and years) to what studying and school work is. I thought we would do some work, but no, it's really about meeting people and saying, "thank you for your $120,000. We will spend it wisely." It's been about introducing us to the group of folks who I will be spending days and nights with. I'm cool with that. I can easily push off real work for a few more weeks. I will take the free food and alcohol graciously.

I have met tons of awesome people though. The toughest part is remembering names. I can't remember really stupid things, such as what I ate for breakfast, so how am I going to remember the names of the 125 people I met today. There's 395 more to meet during the remainder of the week. I'm so screwed.

Anyway, I give today 2 thumbs up. Off to bed.

So... I just came home and put in the new, borrowed, more powerful A/C, which is just perfect because it's about 9,000 degrees in New York right now. Ya, until the circuit breaker tripped and we still have no electricity after we reset it. None. No A/C, no fan, just a steamy apartment. And I'm sure the building super, who can't even fix a door lock, is no electrician either.

This suuuuuuucks. I feel like I just landed on the surface of the sun.

Orientation starts tomorrow and I'm going to show up disgusting, I just know it.

As I walk down the streets of my neighborhood, I notice that the students are arriving! Tons of them.

I saw a cabbie drop off a girl and her parents on the corner of my block. This was definitely her first move here... they were touting maps, confused glances, and this girl had one HUGE backpack with her belongings.

I saw two other people toting luggage on rollers down another side street.

I saw one girl hanging around outside a building with the largest suitcase I have ever seen. She looked stranded, as if she was supposed to be moving in but had no keys nor a way to get inside the building. Luckily, it was a nice day.

Anyway, one suitcase seems the way to go for the new arrivals. It's kind of a cool time around here, I love the buzz of the student influx.

Anyone out there into soap operas? Unfortunately, I grew up with a Soap Opera Gene and I have to somehow stay connected to Days of Our Lives (luckily, one needs to only watch an episode per year to keep on top of the happenings).

The point of this whole blog thing is that I really think there should be a blog/soap opera storyline about my new building in Manhattan. Let me introduce some of the main characters:

Nikky - doorman superb. I think he's an older/fatter rock star at night, but he's definitely a kick ass doorman by day. Good for a laugh anyhow. I think he may know the drug dealers outside, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. He's been here 12 years... maybe I can get some dish from him.

Malat - well, dunno how to spell his name correctly, but he's the Super's son (?), I think. He ripped out the lock from my door when it wouldn't turn over and I was stranded in the hall for an afternoon last week. He's a jack of all trades: Locksmith, Doorman, Super, Casanova (my boyfriend saw him getting some lovin' a few nights ago). I can't leave my building without seeing him for some reason. He's cool enough though.

Boomer - the FATTEST bull dog on earth. I mean, really, this dog is huge and obviously uncomfortable with his own weight. Too bad his owner weighs about 70 pounds. They're probably the same weight, just diffrerent shapes. If he didn't slobber so much, I'd like him more. Boomer and I do not like August in the city, so we're buds...

Vixen Twins - This is weird. I saw two small, pretty blondes with outrageous eye makeup leaving the building tonight. They're twins - hot twins... really, really hot twins. I should have followed them, but I was starving, so food was way more important than seeing where this freak show was headed.

Seth - Recent grad from Columbia. Got his undergrad in May and now works at a bookstore. Poor guy, I really feel for him. $250k on his education and now he makes $8/hour and can't pay his own rent. He's totally nice though and lives across from me... which means he's exactly 3 feet from us at any point during the day because my apartment is about 12 square feet.

I wish I was exaggerating, but such is New York. More to come soon...

I used the Super's bathroom. REALLY. Well, actually, I think his daughter was home and was the unfortunate one to open up the door in my drunken state when all I could think about was pee. And I've only been here two weeks, but it was either the Super's bathroom (because we live on the same floor) OR, he was going to have a mess in the morning. That's what he gets for not fixing our locks in a week so that I could not get into the apartment in less than 10 minutes. Damn me.

I've walked more this week in New York than I have during my whole life in California. Preview of things to come? Sure.

I walked to Columbia today and it took about 15 minutes from my door to the main gate on Broadway. Not bad at all. However, on miserable days, I can see myself walking one block and taking a subway to the same gate, he he.

Other news: orientation is on Monday, less than a week away!!! NOOOOO. I think I need about 4 more weeks of unemployment :) and then everything should be ok, especially since I still have some pre-work that I need to take care of. Sheesh, I've been a lazy one. To my credit, my apartment is still UNFURNISHED and I've been furiosly perusing craigslist for some furniture that is not 1) grossly overpriced 2) beat up like a mother #*!%-er 3) not from IKEA (because 50% of the people in this city are outfitted by IKEA) and 4) not a coffin*.

On the same topic of apartment furnishings, the single thing I am looking forward to this weekend is picking up my bed. I spent several hours picking it out and I've not been in a real bed for about 3 months (if not longer). No bed. Air mattress. Damn, I am so psyched. Way too psyched for a normal person to be THIS excited for a bed.



* Eventually, the psychotic craigslist ad's hyperlink will expire, so I would like to paste the text for the piece of "furniture" for sale here where I may reference it later: "This is an authentic wooden child's coffin. It could accomodate a small adult. If you are a vampire, then this is the Coffin Table for you! Came from rock sensation Motorcyle Boy's old house in Hollywood. Come 'n' Get It !!! It's almost dusk!" Asking price is $50. And, may I also add that this sums up many of the crazies whose paths I have already crossed in my first two weeks of being a New Yorker. I guess I'm just supposed to look straight ahead as I walk by them every 50 feet, but I dunno.

Driving in Manhattan
This is more like drag racing, really. I never thought of driving as a sport, but my limited driving experience in Manhattan has taught me otherwise.

And, lanes. Why? No one obeys the lane markings AT ALL. This is the closest to a real crash-up derby as I will probably get to in my lifetime. From now on, I think I'll walk.

The Coffee Guy
So, there's a coffee cart on my way to school. I will try to sidestep his temptations of pastries and donuts (though I love the glazed ones) but I will take him up on the 50 cent coffee. Oh yeah... my coffee addiction will be alive and well during my 2 years here. That is just a great find. And his coffee is really good. I dunno about you all, but Starbucks coffee makes me gag. You have to get the foo foo drinks there to have a drinkable beverage.

The Subway
People heading to/from the subway seem to have the ability to RUN down stairs as though that's just how you're supposed do it. I'm not there yet. If I tried going down the stairs in this way, I would surely fall and break my neck. That skill will take some practice to develop.

The Neighborhood
Aside from the initial drug deals I witnessed on moving day, I really like the neighborhood. I don't think there's anything I need that's more than a block away. Today, I had to make a copy of a document, it was around the corner. Yesterday, I needed to buy a lock - around the corner. Mexican food? Downstairs. Dive bar with CHEAP beer? Need I even mention how close this establishment is? $2.50 beers - that's all I really have to say. This place also has a jukebox with some awesome CDs in it - I can just see my first selections: Johnny Cash followed by some Justin Timblerlake followed by vintage Madonna. Ahhhhhhh, This is the life.

Oh my God, it's so friggin hot, I can't sleep. I want to sleep. No, I need to sleep, seeing as I went to bed exhausted only a few precious hours ago, but I can't because I'm sweating and uncomfortably hot. Gross.

This blows - The free A/C we brought back from the Cape does not, however. This little thing takes all day to cool down a studio apartment, it's amazing. I'm so tempted to open the fridge and just hang out there for a while. We thought turning on just the fan for the evening would be fine, but we were wrong.

What a baby, I know, but it's 82% humidity right now and that's new territory for me, folks. In my former LA life, I didn't have an AC for 5 years and didn't ever need one. The ocean was my AC.

I see a nap in my future tomorrow.

Cape Cod life - - I walked the dog. Went for a swim. Now I'm lounging by the pool. It's quiet. There are no cars or people within sight. Man, this could be my haven away from the city.... and it's free.

If I only had a margarita, life would be perfect right now.

Update: I just woke up from my nap and am watching the Red Sox game. I'm about to head out to a 'Mexican' resuarant. This just really is not fair.

Warning: This post contains a lot of foul language. It's not for the faint of heart. If you are not afraid of the f word, however, then go ahead because this is worth a read:

These have been THE most stressful days in, probably, my entire life – looking for an apartment in NYC. Talk about jumping through hoops. Luckily, I was completely moved in after 2 ½ days.

Day 1 – Walk through the SEEDIEST neighborhoods I have ever been in. I would take a walk through Watts any day over this. Although the first apartment we looked at was beautifully renovated, the boot-leg -DVD-selling-guy just beneath my window was not desireable. Nor were the other 5 bootleggers on the same block.

We saw 3 apartments. There was supposed to be a 4^th but the building looked like an abandoned building that bums had decorated, so we didn’t even want to see the actual apartment. This place was trashed. I think bums actually did live there because a pile of trash bags and dirty stuff was sitting in one of the hallways.

We walked for hour after hour and were drenched in sweat, which must have been unpleasant for any subway patrons who landed in our car. Overall, Day 1 was a tour through all the neighborhoods we would NOT be living in.

Day 2 – 4 more apartments to view – ran all over the city , sweaty. The 3^rd apartment we saw was the one we ended up applying for. The 4^th one had a funk so bad, an animal probably died in there. I’m not even exaggerating. It was huge but disgusting. We heard late Day 2 that we were approved for the apartment we liked and would have to be in first thing on Day 3 to pick up the keys, sign the lease, and pay out my asshole.

Day 3 - Shit, I have never spent so much money in one day in my entire life. And If my student loans had been as hard to obtain as this apartment, I probably wouldn’t be going for my MBA. Truly. They wanted my first born, but since I don’t have a first born yet, I had to sign a clause on the lease for one arm and one leg. And I don’t know why they just didn’t bind the lease because it needed a cover. It was 30 pages long. I kid you not.

So let me tell you about my apartment. First off, before I tell you about my moving fucking nightmare and you think I hate this place, I actually LOVE IT. I loved it as soon as I saw it and I knew this was the place I wanted to live in. Lovely building. Lovely tenants. Lots to do. 10 minute walk from Columbia (talk about ideal). 1 minute walk to the subway. Gut renovated with new, immaculate everything.

And the neighborhood was perfect… or so I thought.

My job was to sit in the driver’s seat of the truck and just watch it and our stuff so nothing fishy happened while my boyfriend unloaded the truck and took our boxes up to our new, unnaturally small living space. Here is what I saw in just 1.5 hours:

Drug deals and drug dealers.

Three drug deals occurring a whopping 20 feet from me. I was trying not to see this, but it was unabashedly obvious and other things were probably going on that I did not see during this time:

• 1^st transaction involved 2 cabbies (still in their cabs), Shady-Sketchy Dealer (#1), and Sweaty Bike Guy Dealer (#2)
• 2^nd transaction involved Milk Carton Dealer (#3) and a dude off the street who checked out that he got what he paid for IN THE LOBBY OF MY BUILDING. RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. THIS is where I started to freak the fuck out. Drug deals. In my building. What the fuck is that all about?????
• 3^rd transaction was between Bike Guy Dealer (#2) and Milk Carton Dealer (#3) and another guy off the street.

And don’t think they didn’t see me. #3 had his eye on me the WHOLE TIME. I think #1 wanted dibs on our stuff. I also saw him try to open up a parked car about 3 cars behind me, but it was locked. What a shame.

Anyway, when you see people dealing drugs in front of you, pacing up and down the block for 2 hours like stray dogs, who also have their eye on YOU, a suburbian white chick in a truck by herself, this was about the most horrible thing that could have been happening as I was moving into my new apartment.

So I went to Cape Cod with my boyfriend. Here I am, til Sunday when I have to go back and hope my belongings are still there.

Margaritaluvr, welcome to New York.